It's been a while...

Well, happy thanksgiving all... and into Christmas we go! I had a lovely visit with my parents here in town and really was happy to have them here. I'm glad I'll be seeing them again soon though because I miss them.

A few weeks ago I wrote to you from Orlando, courtesy of a gig for the youth band and a night without sleep due to transport. Well... here we go again, folks! Once more, I'm embarking on a sleepless night and an over night drive up to Orlando... this time, though, we'll leave at 3am, arrive a little before 8, grab a quick breakfast, go to the gig, play, eat a quick lunch, and drive home. I'll be back around 6 or 7 pm. Whirlwind, I know! But school is in the mix and finals are going mad for many of our band members so this trip must be quick.

Things have been okay for me here. I'm learning a lot, especially about forgiveness. I've been gearing up for a play here lately. It is a Christmas play and ready to get going for production next Saturday. I was director and actor and had assembled a cast for the show. It was going along well until one of my cast members stopped showing up to rehearsals. Essentially what it boils down to was this cast member lying to me, avoiding my phone calls and attempts to contact her and never showing up. So I talked to my supervisor at the music ministry and he called her and she immediately answered the cell phone that was supposed to be broken (when I called her). He asked my cast member straight out if she was going to do the play and she said no, flat out. That was 9 days before the play. To summarize, the play had to close - no replacement could be found and there wasn't sufficient rehearsal time even if we could locate someone. By the way, this person still has not said "I'm sorry" or actually told ME that they were leaving... only told my supervisor.

Because of that, I'm learning a lot about forgiveness. I think I'm actually learning something interesting. Most people think you have to abandon your pride in order to ask someone to forgive you. This is true, of course. You can't be ready to ask for forgiveness if you still have pride for yourself. But I've learned that it is also important to abandon all pride for yourself before you forgive someone also. You can't truly forgive someone until you let go of your pride. I can't hope someone will come to me and apologize and I can't hope that they secretly feel bad for hurting me. I can't hope that they feel guilty if I'm nice to them after they've betrayed my trust. I have to be totally okay with the idea that someone will brush off anything bad between us and not really even care if I truly want to forgive. It has to be selfless.

So that's one of the many lessons God is teaching me this week.

Other than the play, lots of little things have been keeping me busy. I'm going to my parents house in 10 days, so yay for that! Funny as it is, I'm almost more excited to see my cat than I am to see my family. It's too bad my sister and nephews can't make it.

I'm also really loving Christmas right now. Not the typical Christmas idea, but I'm just so blown away tonight about how God came down to earth. I really just can't get over it. I usually think about it, and acknowledge it, but tonight it really hit me. This world that is so dirty and gross and sad... why would God ever want to come here? I don't even know how to describe it. I just really feel it tonight.

So happy Christmas to you all. I hope you all feel that unconditional love of God too. I promise to write more soon.

Cheers,
Em